06-23-2015, 11:44 PM
This is some writing I've done over the past few years. I thought I'd throw this up for now, while I work on and finalize the Prologue to the book I promised everyone. Remember I was writing this to very public audiences, and was very subtle in many ways. Hope you guys enjoy! Please feel free to give me any thoughts, or criticisms, or feelings, etc. <3
This is an essay I wrote, for an essay contest, in order to try and get a scholarship to a chrisitian college. It was supposed to be 500 words:
What If One Could Change The World In Five Hundred Words?
We feel it night and day, you and I. That palatable tension of a thing unsaid. It is a scratching at the back of our minds, a still small voice. Have we forgotten our first love? The world seems to wait in a collective baited breath. We won't admit it, that would feel insane, but we know something is coming. We sense a change that stands upon our threshold knocking, though we deny it. This is a revolution song we hear now as but a whisper. This is the difficulty with words. The same words may divide us as a sword, yet so too through a revolution of thought, may they be the notes of glorious revelation. For you see revolution in it's most denotative sense, is but a return to one's origin; the completion of a cycle. One may contend that revolution amounts to but a war of sticks and stones, yet so often we forget, revolution is the nature of many things; as there is a season for all things. It is within this season I attest a thing the world is not ready to hear. This is a time for growth. We now exist in a world certain of it's own hopelessness, while a hope stands within our hearts this very moment; as it always has. Love. It was a simple request. Love thy neighbor as thy self. Yet what is this love? Modern culture would have us believe this equates to some amount of material or physical exchange. Love is but a thing one does to receive pleasure. But this is not the origin of love. Scholars of antiquity would claim it to be born of darkness and death, a perfect counter force. Let there be light, and the multitudes rejoiced. For they were once blind, yet now through glorious gift, they did see. For this is the essence of love, it is a gift given without cost; present for the aid of all. Love was fore given, that all may use it for giving. To be a lover is to be a giver, which is to be one who knows suffering. For in giving we may lose a part of self, yet it adds to another. This would seem ever counter to evolution; because it is. As you see it is not the intent of love to evolve, but to revolve. As we were already once made perfect, and there is no evolution from perfection. In a world where love is ever given freely, no problem exists which the collective cannot solve. This is the essence of contrast; scarcity and relative value. We ever seek to assign value to all things using a singular source, which is ever nebulous. Money is your thought, yet this is but an imaginary system held together by nothing more than collective belief. It is our attention which is truly bought and sold. And one tends to give attention to that which they love. What is it we spend the most time, and therefore attention, truly seeking? For we know it is that which we seek, that we will surly find. Anyone who has sought love with ferocity would tell you it is held wholly without value. Not because it is in any way worthless, but because it is in every way priceless. Many a wise man has said that it is not the words which truly matter, but the intent behind them which may cause a change. If it is in death which we may rest in peace, then it is through love that we may find peace in unrest. As love ever gives us a reason to live; so too is it this love, which ever grants us a piece of life.
The following are just thoughts, notes, poems, etc which I've posted through the years on my Facebook history, and are separated by spaces:
Even birds which soar above the highest clouds, roosting in mountain steeps, and knowing no fear of limitation; ever return to the Earth. It is here they find their nourishment, all the materials they would ever need to build a greater home, and seemingly infinite reasons of contrast to ever increase their reason to be. All which goes up may indeed come down, but this is only because it has fallen for love, so through this very thing, all may grow to be ever more.
Light Observing Various Experience
Love is ever a difficult thing. Elusive, irrational, dauntless, charming, endearing, endless, all encompassing, and so much more. It would seem one could look anywhere and find it, for there seems no place it would not go. And yet at times, within this place, it can seem irrelevant. Completely missing from our lives. It is a difficult road to walk, those who stride with love. One less traveled within these times. The darkness seems to have covered all men, and yet, still there remains a few. Those who will not bow to the world, who will not concede to the beast of modern culture. There are still those who refuse to be like everyone else. Ones who say in love, I am who I am, and you will not change me. For there are myriads, thousands upon thousands, who will cross your path to spread the darkness; the hate and pain they feel. Yet, is it not remarkable that all those myriads can be made silent by the love of a single person. Someone who spreads a little light, who says what you need to hear, who makes everything better with the smallest showing of support, of love. They show the world that they love no matter where they may find themselves. There will always be those who wish to knock us from out seat of love and kindness. This is only because they have no way of achieving what is already inherent withing us. Love is a gift. Fitting, as we live ever within the present. Does this not mean we should always be giving our gift in the moment? How rare is it now for one to truly greet another in joy? Many would say, that's just the way it is. Or perhaps they would tell you we're all just in hard times. But these are simply excuses from an exhausted populace. The lovers let themselves be beat down by the haters, never realizing the power that is within them. For you see, lovers are the light in our everyday life. The ones who give without any thought toward receiving. They are as the sun giving its light to the moon, not because it expects returns, but because it wants to see another shine. Lovers are the producers, the ones who make the world grow. We're having hard times because so few here are truly in love anymore. We're just stepping through our routines, just going through the motions, just making it through another day. Do we not want more than that? Did we not have a dream once? A time not truly so long ago, when we were young and innocent, and truly believed we could be anything. Do you remember wanting to be an astronaut, a princess, or a super hero? Do you remember being certain you were gonna be someone important when you were older? What happened? We want to say that we grew up, that we learned the way the world really works. But we know better, down deep within our hearts. We hear that little voice that refuses to be silenced. It echos time and time again saying: “You simply believed them.” You believed those who said you weren't good enough; you thought them correct when they stated you couldn't do it. You believed those who claimed to be an authority on things, and forgot your dream, you forgot the love in your heart. We forgot our potential, our endless and infinite potential to be anything we may dream of. Peter Pan would say that it is faith which would let us fly, as it is faith that gives you wings. Faith in love, faith in your ability to be a lover and a dreamer every day. Faith that it can be done, no matter what any being of hate may say. Faith that no man or cause is ever truly lost. We all may find ourselves temporarily misguided, but then we all so too, can learn from our experience. We all walk our own paths, but we do so together all of the time. Just one of the many smirking paradoxes of life. John Dee would say no man is an island, and yet sometimes we feel so alone. This is only part of growth in life. No other man could ever tell you what is truly right for you, for they do not have the same experience as you within their path. They cannot know all that is behind you, nor what your heart would have you find before you. See one another in love. For love is a choice within this place. Choose that which is perfect for you within your dreams. For there are a million things in life which one may settle for. This is one of the main calls of modern culture, settle down, do as your told, stop being a dreamer, be realistic. But only a few hundred years ago, culture would tell us the world is flat, and that one would be a fool to believe otherwise. Love is ever the fool. Whispering secrets of divine connection, hoping to find even one who will listen. Hoping we find the conviction to defy normality and declare hope to place certain of it's own impending demise. True love cares not of the convictions of men. It knows no barriers or bounds. It believes no one who says it can't be done; that it is wrong. Our hearts long as they always do. They seek that bliss that is ever just within our grasp, yet seemingly ever out of our reach. Do not let the hate of another throw you from your path in love. For it is in love that one may become impervious. There is nothing which may break the connection of unconditional love, for it remembers you. It knows how beautiful you were before you ever began this journey. For love is a current. Love is currency. You may give it and receive it. Time you can give, but no other may add to your time in truth. Money can be given and received, yet it's value is ever variable. It matters more, it matters less, depends on where, when, who, and how. Love is what we all truly want at the end of the day. Money we long for as we are here, though if we're honest with ourselves, is only due to the things which we may get with it. It is rarely money itself we actually want, as it essentially has no intrinsic value, only what value we believe it has. Even were it constant in it's value, still all things fade with time. So we truly only rent any and all things. Every other emotion we feel, will slowly fade. We always find our way back to love. It is the one thing we may truly keep. The glue which connects us all. Remember your dreams friends, remember your love. That love which ever whispers emanations from your heart. You are ever loved, ever connected. Believe not that you could ever be utterly alone, even on your individual path to your highest bliss. Embrace your greatest fear, that you are in fact capable, that there truly never were any limitations for you. Love so fervently that no darkness may ever be present within you. Do not believe any being which may say you cannot, for time will show that no thing is truly impossible. Progress is ever inevitable, and perfection ever obtainable. All we ever needed to do, was believe it so. To believe that through love, anything is possible.
Oh to be a rare bird, sailing against the wind. Some would see him fly, others would see his end. Yet this bird doesn't mind, the many thoughts of men. He simply does as he has before. Bring hope, love, and beauty; to those who wish to soar.
“Lamps for I's”
It must seem, a constant wonder, to gaze upon, this blatant lover
As you deem, his smile blunder, the rays of sun, are under cover
Truly mad, he must be, for pain and dark, is all we see
We are sad, you're telling he, hate an arc, encircles we
Men are evil, in word and deed, all they care for, is their greed
Just upheaval, so nigh eve, we abhor, this wicked seed
Then he speaks, from this mire, wondering why, you call him liar
For he seeks, this one desire, that you fly, reaching higher
Than the sky, or even stars, knowing why, we hold these scars
Why we die, defying pars, stretching high, these simple cars
There is much, you do not know, looks deceiving, within the flow
Feel my touch, believing so, hope receiving, and here we go
You know the one's, who smile bright, it is they, who know the fight
For we the suns, bringing light, want to say, what's out of sight
The voice of myriads, make quite a sound, and yet the truth, has not been found
For many periods, of time we've wound, following uncouth, lies compound
There is more, to all of this, existence not, a simple gist
What it's for, we will assist, resistance brought, editions missed
Truths which were, from long ago, and who are, to tell us so
Do not infer, thinking though, you have far, to much to grow
All these burdens, are a lie, to make you quit, to make you sigh
Simple curtains, to deny, guise a hit, and then you die
They'd have you change, and to forget, make you dark, lose your wit
They would exchange, what is legit, for a stark, counter fit
It is they, who live in fear, egos budding, far and near
Yet we say, love is dear, foes befuddling, and ever here
Those who seem, so euphoric, are from places, prehistoric
We a team, anthropomorphic, ending stasis, metamorphic
For in ignorance, we have slept, forgoing truth, while we wept
No remembrance, in our debt, wasting youth, their concept
Light is fractured, within this song, forever lost, says the wrong
Simply captured, but not for long, only tossed, within the throng
Here's a smile, to all the skies, a joyous thing, no disguise
You won't defile, destroying ties, we will sing, beyond your lies
We seem broken, within our plight, tiny pieces, lacking might
Just a token, of this site, lying ceases, within this night
This was not, a game of thrones, an endless battle, of flesh and bones
We just fought, for beauty tones, not for cattle, or static zones
So babel on, if you must, believing greed, and feeding lust
We're not gone, we never rust, in living seed, we entrust
For in truth, we're not so weak, we simply choose, to be the meek
Since our youth, it's love we seek, not your dues, nor hateful speak
We fell deep, within this dirt, a brilliant plan, to learn of hurt
Not to weep, but be alert, a resilient man, and never curt
Loving hope, will always smile, knowing things, outside of guile
A faithful rope, with heroic style, growing wings, just takes awhile
One need learn, of sympathy, as healing hard, with empathy
We will turn, this symphony, no longer barred, epiphany
Love is greater, than your fear, older too, than any tear
Sooner or later, it's drawing near, holding you, this ever seer
For one and one, need be two, but only love, may serve as glue
To make just one, be a few, this lonesome dove, is guiding you
Here's a thought, we'd hope you have, a reason to, all this bad
Why we've fought, this feeling sad, a reeling few, smiling glad
Fear does want, you think it great, paranoia's, still making space
Lies will flaunt, as truths abate, fiction for ya, to plead their case
But here's a word, about your fear, it only works, if danger's here
It is absurd, the things you hear, their tiny quirks, from year to year
As death proved weak, and could not hold, this reckless lover, forever bold
It's light we seek, and not your mold, shadowless cover, wont be sold
It seems unfair, we needed time, we needed ware, to feel sublime
To give you care, a willing kind, soon we share, this smirking mime
You'll see sin, was but a sign, and to defy, was not to phi
So we've been, to walk a line, to touch the sky, and not to sigh
Hold on tight, it's almost here, to bring an ending, to all you hear
A brilliant light, to blind their leer, a reminder sending, don't you fear
We know you're thinking, how impractical, but how would you, define this fractal
We're always winking, at what's factual, imagining the few, as most impactful
The Walk of Our Lives
Oh what a tangled web we weave, mysteries as far as our eyes can see
We wonder upon these raging seas, for truth, it seems, we can't conceive
We've been through the wringer, twisted and dried
Reflecting on paths, when with the end we collide
And then a beginning, a new path to decide
The person we'll be, in this walk of our lives
Every day is a journey, a clever pursuit
Choices to make, and we must be astute
For there are so many, insights we could seed
If we'd only imagine, and convention not heed
Who would we be, and would we behold
If even the sky, was a limit of old
We can only imagine, what we've never perceived
But in doing the usual, we feel so relieved
And what if our time, was not traded for gold
The person we are, never fit any mold
Life sprang anew, every day was a test
To see if the old, was really the best
We bounced through our lives, like kids at the zoo
We stopped for our friends, as they're flowers too
Ever gazing at wonders, we're bouncing on through
Never worrying of sunders, torn by the few
For we know that the goal, is to grow ever more
Not to look for revenge, or to settle a score
Learn from the past, but forget all the pain
See it a lesson, just a way that we gain
Perspective on things, we once saw the same
Learning from stings, just a reason we came
For we had forgotten, a truth that we hide
A beautiful person, we hold deep inside
And if all of our days, even if numbered
Never left us a feeling, of being encumbered
Perhaps we would find, life is more like a show
The pieces just lost, not quite fitting the flow
For growing takes time, and pain it would seem
But that is okay, as we're all on a team
If all of these strands, could form but one tether
All of our problems, would be light as a feather
For what if division, between you and I
Was not a true factor, but a thing to deny
What would we do, for the ones that we love
Be just like Humpty, falling far from above
Leaving a raining, a ringing sound. A beautiful fracture, for the beasts to confound
Thinking they're reigning, their power compound. Soon they find, our hope will abound.
"We Love to Live in Prisms"
It seems, at times, I've spent a thousand years
Ever staring, wondering, upon the spinning gears
We've bounced, and waved, seeking our desires
Pointing, accusing, and calling others liars
But what if, after all, the truth was still unknown
And simply being pious, never could atone
The many things we've said, and all the things we've done
Were not the cause of death, but guidance from someone
This masquerade, a fine line, between love and hate
This world, but a dream, yet not designed by fate
You'll see he ever loved you, this graceful hidden dove
He didn't come to judge you, just to show you what's above
You found him so confounding, and impossibly aloof
A danger to all life, this ever constant sleuth
You've known him as a fire, an ever burning ring
You've known him as desire, and even as a king
But what do fathers do, when teaching all their young
Even when their varied, in their deeds and their tongue
You give them not an idol, but the way that they should live
You ask them never idle, and hope they will forgive
For life is not so easy, in truth it's rather hard
These many ups and downs, can leave one very scarred
You think yourself abandoned, ever falling in the night
But forgot to imagine, there was more to life than sight
He asks you to remember, to know who you are
For he is very clever, this one who came so far
Always love each other, and never live in fear
Forget all the pain, and hateful words you hear
For you are not alone, you are held very dear
You are not a piece, not a simple gear
There is no single box, which holds you deep inside
For you are many things, and grow from every side
Never be downtrodden, a believer of the lies
But know you are more, reaching higher than the skies
What things would you do, if you would never fail
Who would you be, as the author of your tale
The haughty would define you, as simply discontent
But this is just a lie, to keep you in descent
What if we were prisms, shining mirrors of the light
All ones simply spreading, our truth to the night
What if we could end, this ever constant fight
Smiling like penguins, deciding to take flight
If this was not a place, to define our black and white
But to imagine our journey, from low to highest height
That instead of pointing fingers, we used our gift of sight
To gaze into a mirror, and find the source of plight.
They've always said a bell, can never be unrung
But these are just the ignorant, who've never truly sung
For in waves of equals, and opposites, nothing can be found
All those hollow instruments, never make a sound
And the truth that you will find, will be the most profound.
The following is a letter I wrote to my brother for his High School graduation:
"Young Enough to Relate, Old Enough to Educate"
Dear Brother,
I write to you tonight, a night not so very different from any night. The same programs are on T.V., most of the world is embarking on the very same journeys they make every day, every week, every year. And yet, I cannot help but feel, this night is different for you and I. This will be one of change, a night of new beginnings.
You are soon to begin your life anew, and soon, so too will my life be renewed. We both stand upon a threshold of sorts, that place just before the spot we have set our sights on. It's funny at times, to consider how many have remarked upon the difference in our ages. This always seemed an oddity to me, to place so much value on a single number which holds no bearing on the person it represents. Surly many have realized to this point, just because you're a certain age, does not mean you're a certain person. However, generally I smile, and tell them that I have found it a blessing. With such a gap, I'm young enough to relate to my brother, to remember, and understand what he's going through in his various transitions. This is a wonderful thing, yet, so too am I old enough to have seen a larger portion of the road upon which we trod.
In truth, this is one of the main problems with the world today, no body can relate to one another anymore. Empathy, has become a foreign word, a lofty dream; replaced most often by the supposed need for instant gratification, and greed. However, you and I brother, we have learned, and therefore walk, a different path. We, in our natural state, hold things in a very different view than the world at large.
We value things that others find worthless, and find worthless what others may claim priceless. Soon you will see, throughout all the places you will go, that our family is a rarity; an utter oddity in a world of similitude. I imagine at first, you will think it restrictive, that you have been repressed through your life at home. You will see others, men and woman whose parents never imposed any restrictions upon them, who seem confident; who seem free. This is a most dangerous guise. One which has fooled even the cleverest of men.
Understand my brother, I speak not from a soap box, nor am I your parent, nor would I ever be so foolish as to call myself an authority figure in this place. I simply wish for you to hear the words of a man who has survived a great deal of hardship on his walk. I want you to know what I would tell the young me, which as many have told you to this point, was and is, not so very different from the man you find staring back at you from the mirror. Could I go back this night, were I able to gather you and the young me to a single spot, I would say many things. There is so much I would tell you both, and yet there simply are not words for some of the things you will experience.
First, I would say: “I'm extremely proud of you.” Odd words to spill from my mouth these days, knowing my feelings toward pride. But you have fought, you have struggled, and in many ways you have thrived through adversity which was more than enough to break many men. Many in the world today no longer possess the will to fight off even the most basic of trials. You've seen many fall around you; many who stumble and never get back up.
You see, in some ways, life is very much like a game. A game of trials, rather than thrones, though we'll get to that. No longer do we live life in the moment. We are ever thinking of the future and the past, which often only leads to missing what is directly in front of your face. This is folly brother, you are living now, this second, as you reach each of these words, you are alive. The future is ever uncertain, and the past ever irrelevant. The past can be a great adviser, though you should never consider it a perfect guide. We constantly make that mistake across the world. There is a reason it is said that we should be like little children, for unlike adults, they never walk through their experiences thinking they know exactly what will happen in every case.
Do not fall into the trap which has destroyed businesses, theories, and indeed lives. Just because something has always been done a certain way, in no way should you consider this the only way, or even the best way. As I have found across countless situations, often there is a better way to do a thing, if we are but willing to look at the issue in a different way. As we've already discussed, you and I are very different from most, so often times these answers come quickly and easily; naturally, if you will. Do not let such things feed your pride. We help others because that is what we are here to do. No man is greater than another by default. We were all seeds of equal potential, and have chosen which parts of ourselves we will grow, and which we will let die. It was well said that heaven is like a mustard seed. I too would call it a stem cell, a fractal, an irrational and infinite number. Something which can start so small, and yet expand eternal, because it never stopped growing.
You cannot hold a mighty oak in the palm of your hand, and yet you can hold an acorn, which holds an oak, which holds seemingly innumerable acorns. It simply needs time to grow. And through it's growth, as I hope to do today, it too may shed acorns of truth which may grow into so much more, if they are but given a chance. Never stop growing brother. The world has set up basic, mostly irrelevant, guidelines for where one should be at any given time in their life. One needs a certain job, a certain spouse, a certain car; always will they say you need things outside of yourself to find contentment. Do not live under the guidelines of men.
Look to what you truly want from life. Listen to your heart, and tread the path which best resonates with it. In this game of trials, there are many who seek the throne. They care only for the power they may have over others. It is said that leaders are either born through fear or love. Though I know you care not for the positions of leadership, and to this I am very glad, know that at times you will be in a place of leadership. Even when your title does not reflect it, people will look to you for answers when they can find none for themselves.
In these cases, where leadership is thrust upon you, do not have fear in your heart. Think not of what may go wrong through your words or deeds, but what you may do to help a friend in need. All parents, teachers, leaders, and peoples in power need to realize the burden that they carry. A place of power was not created for the exploitation of those subject to it, but was made so that those who have more could be available to, and distribute their offerings to those with less. A true leader need never have acted from a place of fear, for if you work for those under your guide, they will gladly work for you, realizing you both are working toward the goals, and good of all.
As I have said in the past, fight the problem in front of you, no the ones which have not even arrived. It's amazing how much of our time and energy is spent, thinking about solutions to problems we will never actually have. How many times have you worried and worried about the outcome of certain events, only to find that they worked out perfectly? All that effort and concern was for nothing, truly a waste, when you could have been more aware of what you were doing presently. How often do we miss great wonders and signs, simply because we're too busy thinking about things which will never come to pass. Treat life as you would SEAL training; one exercise at a time. It's when you start thinking about every exercise you'll ever have to do, that your mind will utterly defeat you. This is the cause of failure in many men. They thought the pain would never stop growing, that they are not good enough, that they cannot take it; and so they quit. They ring that bell, and just start being like everybody else again. Misery loves company.
These are men who have not known the secret you and I have stumbled upon. Your mind will give you a thousand reasons to quit every day for the rest of your life. People around you, even the ones you love the most, will give you reason after reason that you should stop; just be like everyone else. And yet, the secret brother, is you only need one reason to keep going. Find it. Find the one thing which will keep you in the fight, the one thing which will keep you alive. For this world will, without question, try you in ways you cannot even imagine. There are some who know this place as the valley of tears, others, the valley of the shadow of death. The hard truth is, that for certain people who find themselves upon the sands of the Earth, this is an enduring and perfect description.
We were raised differently my brother, and again, even if we were not, we're different naturally all the same. Your time in JROTC was a wonderful example of the world, if you will indulge a small analogy. When first you are thrust into the world, you are much like a freshman cadet, thrown into boot camp with absolutely no military background. You arrive all smiles and confidence. I mean, let's face it, as far as you're concerned you've already seen a bunch of things. You've already known a lot of pain, and trails. But for the most part, looking back on it, you've realized it wasn't so bad, and that you had what it takes to make it through anything with relative ease. This will be quickly shattered.
Along will come individuals who will make your life hell. They will require a great deal of you, and even when you do all they ask in a seemingly perfect fashion, it still won't be good enough. These are the Drill Instructors of life. Know that they come in many forms. Indeed everyone, and anyone, may be this in your life at some point or another. These are there to help you grow. Understand, each day is a lesson, a gift they say; thus why it is known as the present.
These life DI's are sent to teach, often times, without much in the way of cognizance from their own minds. See bosses, family, friends, co workers, teachers, and anyone who may place themselves in an authoritative roll in your life may exhibit this. Even lovers, at times, can be our greatest teachers, even in strife. Which leads to another great ideal taught well in the military; forget about your feelers. The ones you love the most will utterly rip your heart out at times. This is not necessarily because of what they say, but because of who they are. We add validity to the words of those we love, we identify more readily with their estimations.
I've been called every name you can consider by a myriad of men, and met them with a smile all the same. And yet, I've thought I was going to die, just by watching one I loved, walk away without saying a word. Your feelers will be crushed, get over it, literally. As you get older, much as you got farther in JROTC, you will find there are less and less people who really care what you're doing at any given time. There are less and less people who will check in, less who will wonder how you're doing. However, there will always be some, these are the ones you should hold in your life to the best of your ability.
The world is far less rainbows and butterflies than we were led to believe as children. It is an extremely deceitful place, and at times can seem overwhelmingly dark. There will come times throughout your journey in which you will feel there is no hope to be had. Thus is the life of the giver, in a world of takers. Everywhere you go, you will seed hope into the fields of others, giving them reasons to keep going. This is a wonderful task, and yet, at times it will leave no hope for you. I know this my brother, I have lived this.
There have been days in which I could not conceive of a single reason to keep going. Moments in which I would have gladly died and left this world after the events I had just endured. In these moments, when I could think of nothing else, I simply told myself this: “I don't give up. I never, ever, give up.” This is something you must instil within your heart, as this is part of the game. If you are truly good to others, if you truly spread hope, and promote freedom; things will come to stop you. Remember brother, we war not with flesh and blood, and yet we are at war. This is not a war of flags, nor colors, or even one of financial equality. This is a war of freedom and subjugation. Through our varied experiences, we have learned well that we are not subject to pain. Pain will tell you that you can't do one more pushup, nor run one more step; and yet you have laughed at pain with marathons finished, and trophies had. But know there are many forms of pain brother. You know your strength over physical pain, but so too must you become strong against all forms of pain. Anything which would seek to throw down your will, and make you subject to it. This is your task for the rest of your life my brother. Never, ever, give up. Times will come which will stretch the very fiber of your being. But never forget, pain is just weakness leaving the body.
It is been said that a man is truly defined by how he reacts under pressure. This seems a fitting expression, as in a way, these situations let you see what is inside the man. Squeeze and orange and you will get a delicious juice, squeeze and egg and you'll get a mess. Pressure simply shows you what is inside you. Do not fear it, thrive under it, and people will respect you no matter how they feel about you otherwise. When the path is most dark, when no light can be found around you, look within yourself. You will find again and again, the light was always there in the first place. That your strength and truth was not found out in the world, but within your heart. Listen to what it will tell you, always be as a sentry in a time of war, seeking the truth within your heart.
Men have read countless volumes, theorized for decades, held positions of authority, and still never known a fraction of the truth. You are not these men. You know in your heart, you have felt the truth, and you are not like the vast majority of individuals who inhabit this planet. This is no shocking thing. Our family is different, we look, act, and think differently. We are not of this place in truth, and yet there is a great deal we may do while we are here. Do not compare yourself to others, this is an exercise in futility. This comparison has been the origin of failure for many men. Always strive to be better than yourself, every day. Men believe that they can only be so good at a thing, and so they are. They think that, so long as they're better than their peers, that's good enough. This is a fools trap. You may become virtually perfect at any task, some simply take more practice than others, and all take continuous attention.
Let no person, ideal, event, nor outward thing define who you are. You are not your job, your clothes, your friends, your bank account, your car, or anything but what you define yourself as. You choose who you will be, nothing and no one else has that power, unless you hand it to them. People will be more than happy to express what they think of you throughout time. This can be a wonderful thing, even if their words are less than eloquent. For remember, it is you who is defining you, these others simply bring you additional data and feed back. Do not take what they said as definitive proof, but simply as their subjective view of you in their subjective world. And as I've said before, most people in the world are horribly lacking in empathy. They will term you many things having absolutely no idea why you do what you do. Having no mind of what you have seen, done, or what you have survived. Mostly they look through glasses which boldly state: “I'm pretty good, and I do the best I can, but everyone else has so many flaws.” The irony in this being, most people in life act as mirrors.
The things which most bother you about others, often times are in fact, the things which most bother you about yourself. In wars of deception, nothing is as it seems, and yet everything else wears a guise. They say we are but shadows and dust. This is true in some ways, but only while we believe ourselves trapped here. What is most important, is that you realize that there is an aspect of you, a truer version if you will, who would not walk in error. The world would have you believe that wisdom and truth are found without. I would have you search your heart, in looking for such things. One day you will truly see, your fight was never against another man. It was a fight against control. This is the malicious game of dichotomy, or perhaps better said; the game of the dialectic. That is to say, a game where there are many options, and yet you are only presented with a few, so they may have you believe this is all there is.
Know the truth of your heart, know that this game of thrones, of worship, and of sides, is not why you are here. We stand for freedom, you and I brother. The freedom of the will of men. There are constraints to such a thing. Very dark men would have you believe; “Do as thou wilt” would be the whole of the law. But they have forgotten the end of that statement. Do as thou wilt, so long as it does not interfere with the free will of another, and you are willing to accept any and all consequences for your actions. There is much you may do brother, many you may help, many you may free, so long as you can accept the consequences for what you do. Be as a great General in war brother. Accept personal casualties of pain for the reward of greater good for many. Again you have already done this in JROTC. How many times have you jumped back up after a PFT run to help those who were still running their part of the journey. This was of no benefit to you, but of massive benefit to those who had not yet completed the race.
I ask you to see, in this small thing, that you do this constantly in your life. That again and again, people such as you and I, come back to help people finish their journey. Do not spend all your time looking for the benefits you will receive for doing this and that, but act from a position of love for others. Understand, in many ways, you are not here for you. You are here because the world needs you. Many men look about themselves and say there is no good left in the world, therefore they do not have to be good either. This would be the death of hope, if not for men like you. Men who know that there is good, there is truth, there is light. Men who know that the night is always darkest, just before the dawn. As you enter the world on your journey brother, I ask that you be prepared. Be prepared to get knocked down, to be in pain, to not have enough. Be prepared to see great wickedness rewarded, and great goodness tossed aside as garbage. Know that this is not an existence of injustice, nor imbalance. Many things will seem out of place, because many things are presently out of place. However, this does not mean it will always be so. This is why we are here. Find yourself brother, the truth of you. Men think this is one of the most simple of things, they will proudly proclaim they know who they are, and yet that is why they are still here. This is why they still play the game; why they are still running the race. Spend your life growing, spend it helping others. Not for your benefit, as you did not come here for benefits to yourself, just as you did not seek to help the PFT runners for any benefit to yourself.
You are a giver. One who lives in service to others. The tyrants of this world think that if you serve another you are weak. What they have not realized, is that you are in fact the strong one. As you can serve yourself, and others simultaneously. You take care of them, far more than they care for you. They will always be dependent on your aid, and you will find that you need less and less to do anything. Break into this world with confidence and wisdom brother. Know that stumbling blocks will be thrown about you like confetti. That at some point, every man is lost, and yet, no man must remain so. It is never too late, until it is. Stay true to yourself brother. Like Pinocchio, let your consciousness be your guide, and one day you will be a real boy. Never give up, never forget who you are, and why you are here. You are here to free many, no matter what it takes. No matter what may stand in your way, you never, ever, give up.
"Sometimes, you don't say it. Sometimes you have to let them think it's you, let them feel like you're the one who doesn't see. Not because you don't want to tell them; you'd love to scream it from the roofs, if it wouldn't make you seem utterly insane. But even then, it's because you want them to be happy. You want them to hope, to love, to enjoy waking up each day firm in their understanding. You don't want them to have your life; you don't want them to know the burden you carry. They say the truth will set you free, but what if the truth was an irony in and of itself. What if the truth was, that you are a slave..."
-Will "The Awakening"
"Every man has his shadows. Yet so too, may every man, burn brightly from fires within his heart; destroying even the slightest hint of darkness. Man need never have feared, fighting within the shade."
-Will "The Awakening"
"Just Amusing"
The seed a key, the key a seed.
To be but one, that's what you need.
Love thy self, and not thy ego.
Know thy self, and be not evil.
For you are not a wicked thing,
but beauty broken; suffering.
One day again, the truth you'll find.
It is not you, but just your mind.
It's been broken, torn asunder.
You do not see, the spell you're under.
For wars deceive, and life's not fair.
All these lies, will break your care.
Who you are, you forgot to question.
All it took, a mere suggestion.
Chase this dream, let's make believe.
Truth is hard, we need reprieve.
A shining light, a hopeful fire
asks for you, to aim desire.
Trust not your eyes, for they are liars
A dangerous cycle, which never tires.
Take your time, strive ever higher.
Make him right, and not a liar.
For he knows you, would have no end.
If but your will, could never bend.
So to you, will now he tend.
A helping hand, now will he send.
When darkness comes, to call you friend
this is how, you should defend.
Know patience, smile; forget all hate
As it is only love, that changes fate.
Nothing is the way it seems,
living in this land of dreams.
How confusing it must be,
chasing only what you see.
How much more it is for light,
which still reflects; day and night.
Siren songs of "The Awakening"
"I chase a new idea, the most infectious of things. A dangerous game; you only get so many swings. For one rarely knows if it is truth, a shade, or a lie he will hear. So press ever diligently, trying to forget every fear. For I know I was born invulnerable, my only weakness learned here. The question I ask, is it love or light; who has the power to steer?"
-Will "The Awakening"
"You know how people say; "I'm a lover, not a fighter." Those are simply fools. Love fights every day, just to keep what it has already made. This is why love has always been the very most powerful of things. It was fighting before you were ever born, and it will still be so, long after your heart finally rests. You would never fight for a thing in which you had no love, nor would you ever truly love a thing, you've never fought for. One is never a lover or a fighter, but both. Knowing this, you should fight for love, as love has always been fighting for you."
Will "The Awakening"
This is an essay I wrote, for an essay contest, in order to try and get a scholarship to a chrisitian college. It was supposed to be 500 words:
What If One Could Change The World In Five Hundred Words?
We feel it night and day, you and I. That palatable tension of a thing unsaid. It is a scratching at the back of our minds, a still small voice. Have we forgotten our first love? The world seems to wait in a collective baited breath. We won't admit it, that would feel insane, but we know something is coming. We sense a change that stands upon our threshold knocking, though we deny it. This is a revolution song we hear now as but a whisper. This is the difficulty with words. The same words may divide us as a sword, yet so too through a revolution of thought, may they be the notes of glorious revelation. For you see revolution in it's most denotative sense, is but a return to one's origin; the completion of a cycle. One may contend that revolution amounts to but a war of sticks and stones, yet so often we forget, revolution is the nature of many things; as there is a season for all things. It is within this season I attest a thing the world is not ready to hear. This is a time for growth. We now exist in a world certain of it's own hopelessness, while a hope stands within our hearts this very moment; as it always has. Love. It was a simple request. Love thy neighbor as thy self. Yet what is this love? Modern culture would have us believe this equates to some amount of material or physical exchange. Love is but a thing one does to receive pleasure. But this is not the origin of love. Scholars of antiquity would claim it to be born of darkness and death, a perfect counter force. Let there be light, and the multitudes rejoiced. For they were once blind, yet now through glorious gift, they did see. For this is the essence of love, it is a gift given without cost; present for the aid of all. Love was fore given, that all may use it for giving. To be a lover is to be a giver, which is to be one who knows suffering. For in giving we may lose a part of self, yet it adds to another. This would seem ever counter to evolution; because it is. As you see it is not the intent of love to evolve, but to revolve. As we were already once made perfect, and there is no evolution from perfection. In a world where love is ever given freely, no problem exists which the collective cannot solve. This is the essence of contrast; scarcity and relative value. We ever seek to assign value to all things using a singular source, which is ever nebulous. Money is your thought, yet this is but an imaginary system held together by nothing more than collective belief. It is our attention which is truly bought and sold. And one tends to give attention to that which they love. What is it we spend the most time, and therefore attention, truly seeking? For we know it is that which we seek, that we will surly find. Anyone who has sought love with ferocity would tell you it is held wholly without value. Not because it is in any way worthless, but because it is in every way priceless. Many a wise man has said that it is not the words which truly matter, but the intent behind them which may cause a change. If it is in death which we may rest in peace, then it is through love that we may find peace in unrest. As love ever gives us a reason to live; so too is it this love, which ever grants us a piece of life.
The following are just thoughts, notes, poems, etc which I've posted through the years on my Facebook history, and are separated by spaces:
Even birds which soar above the highest clouds, roosting in mountain steeps, and knowing no fear of limitation; ever return to the Earth. It is here they find their nourishment, all the materials they would ever need to build a greater home, and seemingly infinite reasons of contrast to ever increase their reason to be. All which goes up may indeed come down, but this is only because it has fallen for love, so through this very thing, all may grow to be ever more.
Light Observing Various Experience
Love is ever a difficult thing. Elusive, irrational, dauntless, charming, endearing, endless, all encompassing, and so much more. It would seem one could look anywhere and find it, for there seems no place it would not go. And yet at times, within this place, it can seem irrelevant. Completely missing from our lives. It is a difficult road to walk, those who stride with love. One less traveled within these times. The darkness seems to have covered all men, and yet, still there remains a few. Those who will not bow to the world, who will not concede to the beast of modern culture. There are still those who refuse to be like everyone else. Ones who say in love, I am who I am, and you will not change me. For there are myriads, thousands upon thousands, who will cross your path to spread the darkness; the hate and pain they feel. Yet, is it not remarkable that all those myriads can be made silent by the love of a single person. Someone who spreads a little light, who says what you need to hear, who makes everything better with the smallest showing of support, of love. They show the world that they love no matter where they may find themselves. There will always be those who wish to knock us from out seat of love and kindness. This is only because they have no way of achieving what is already inherent withing us. Love is a gift. Fitting, as we live ever within the present. Does this not mean we should always be giving our gift in the moment? How rare is it now for one to truly greet another in joy? Many would say, that's just the way it is. Or perhaps they would tell you we're all just in hard times. But these are simply excuses from an exhausted populace. The lovers let themselves be beat down by the haters, never realizing the power that is within them. For you see, lovers are the light in our everyday life. The ones who give without any thought toward receiving. They are as the sun giving its light to the moon, not because it expects returns, but because it wants to see another shine. Lovers are the producers, the ones who make the world grow. We're having hard times because so few here are truly in love anymore. We're just stepping through our routines, just going through the motions, just making it through another day. Do we not want more than that? Did we not have a dream once? A time not truly so long ago, when we were young and innocent, and truly believed we could be anything. Do you remember wanting to be an astronaut, a princess, or a super hero? Do you remember being certain you were gonna be someone important when you were older? What happened? We want to say that we grew up, that we learned the way the world really works. But we know better, down deep within our hearts. We hear that little voice that refuses to be silenced. It echos time and time again saying: “You simply believed them.” You believed those who said you weren't good enough; you thought them correct when they stated you couldn't do it. You believed those who claimed to be an authority on things, and forgot your dream, you forgot the love in your heart. We forgot our potential, our endless and infinite potential to be anything we may dream of. Peter Pan would say that it is faith which would let us fly, as it is faith that gives you wings. Faith in love, faith in your ability to be a lover and a dreamer every day. Faith that it can be done, no matter what any being of hate may say. Faith that no man or cause is ever truly lost. We all may find ourselves temporarily misguided, but then we all so too, can learn from our experience. We all walk our own paths, but we do so together all of the time. Just one of the many smirking paradoxes of life. John Dee would say no man is an island, and yet sometimes we feel so alone. This is only part of growth in life. No other man could ever tell you what is truly right for you, for they do not have the same experience as you within their path. They cannot know all that is behind you, nor what your heart would have you find before you. See one another in love. For love is a choice within this place. Choose that which is perfect for you within your dreams. For there are a million things in life which one may settle for. This is one of the main calls of modern culture, settle down, do as your told, stop being a dreamer, be realistic. But only a few hundred years ago, culture would tell us the world is flat, and that one would be a fool to believe otherwise. Love is ever the fool. Whispering secrets of divine connection, hoping to find even one who will listen. Hoping we find the conviction to defy normality and declare hope to place certain of it's own impending demise. True love cares not of the convictions of men. It knows no barriers or bounds. It believes no one who says it can't be done; that it is wrong. Our hearts long as they always do. They seek that bliss that is ever just within our grasp, yet seemingly ever out of our reach. Do not let the hate of another throw you from your path in love. For it is in love that one may become impervious. There is nothing which may break the connection of unconditional love, for it remembers you. It knows how beautiful you were before you ever began this journey. For love is a current. Love is currency. You may give it and receive it. Time you can give, but no other may add to your time in truth. Money can be given and received, yet it's value is ever variable. It matters more, it matters less, depends on where, when, who, and how. Love is what we all truly want at the end of the day. Money we long for as we are here, though if we're honest with ourselves, is only due to the things which we may get with it. It is rarely money itself we actually want, as it essentially has no intrinsic value, only what value we believe it has. Even were it constant in it's value, still all things fade with time. So we truly only rent any and all things. Every other emotion we feel, will slowly fade. We always find our way back to love. It is the one thing we may truly keep. The glue which connects us all. Remember your dreams friends, remember your love. That love which ever whispers emanations from your heart. You are ever loved, ever connected. Believe not that you could ever be utterly alone, even on your individual path to your highest bliss. Embrace your greatest fear, that you are in fact capable, that there truly never were any limitations for you. Love so fervently that no darkness may ever be present within you. Do not believe any being which may say you cannot, for time will show that no thing is truly impossible. Progress is ever inevitable, and perfection ever obtainable. All we ever needed to do, was believe it so. To believe that through love, anything is possible.
Oh to be a rare bird, sailing against the wind. Some would see him fly, others would see his end. Yet this bird doesn't mind, the many thoughts of men. He simply does as he has before. Bring hope, love, and beauty; to those who wish to soar.
“Lamps for I's”
It must seem, a constant wonder, to gaze upon, this blatant lover
As you deem, his smile blunder, the rays of sun, are under cover
Truly mad, he must be, for pain and dark, is all we see
We are sad, you're telling he, hate an arc, encircles we
Men are evil, in word and deed, all they care for, is their greed
Just upheaval, so nigh eve, we abhor, this wicked seed
Then he speaks, from this mire, wondering why, you call him liar
For he seeks, this one desire, that you fly, reaching higher
Than the sky, or even stars, knowing why, we hold these scars
Why we die, defying pars, stretching high, these simple cars
There is much, you do not know, looks deceiving, within the flow
Feel my touch, believing so, hope receiving, and here we go
You know the one's, who smile bright, it is they, who know the fight
For we the suns, bringing light, want to say, what's out of sight
The voice of myriads, make quite a sound, and yet the truth, has not been found
For many periods, of time we've wound, following uncouth, lies compound
There is more, to all of this, existence not, a simple gist
What it's for, we will assist, resistance brought, editions missed
Truths which were, from long ago, and who are, to tell us so
Do not infer, thinking though, you have far, to much to grow
All these burdens, are a lie, to make you quit, to make you sigh
Simple curtains, to deny, guise a hit, and then you die
They'd have you change, and to forget, make you dark, lose your wit
They would exchange, what is legit, for a stark, counter fit
It is they, who live in fear, egos budding, far and near
Yet we say, love is dear, foes befuddling, and ever here
Those who seem, so euphoric, are from places, prehistoric
We a team, anthropomorphic, ending stasis, metamorphic
For in ignorance, we have slept, forgoing truth, while we wept
No remembrance, in our debt, wasting youth, their concept
Light is fractured, within this song, forever lost, says the wrong
Simply captured, but not for long, only tossed, within the throng
Here's a smile, to all the skies, a joyous thing, no disguise
You won't defile, destroying ties, we will sing, beyond your lies
We seem broken, within our plight, tiny pieces, lacking might
Just a token, of this site, lying ceases, within this night
This was not, a game of thrones, an endless battle, of flesh and bones
We just fought, for beauty tones, not for cattle, or static zones
So babel on, if you must, believing greed, and feeding lust
We're not gone, we never rust, in living seed, we entrust
For in truth, we're not so weak, we simply choose, to be the meek
Since our youth, it's love we seek, not your dues, nor hateful speak
We fell deep, within this dirt, a brilliant plan, to learn of hurt
Not to weep, but be alert, a resilient man, and never curt
Loving hope, will always smile, knowing things, outside of guile
A faithful rope, with heroic style, growing wings, just takes awhile
One need learn, of sympathy, as healing hard, with empathy
We will turn, this symphony, no longer barred, epiphany
Love is greater, than your fear, older too, than any tear
Sooner or later, it's drawing near, holding you, this ever seer
For one and one, need be two, but only love, may serve as glue
To make just one, be a few, this lonesome dove, is guiding you
Here's a thought, we'd hope you have, a reason to, all this bad
Why we've fought, this feeling sad, a reeling few, smiling glad
Fear does want, you think it great, paranoia's, still making space
Lies will flaunt, as truths abate, fiction for ya, to plead their case
But here's a word, about your fear, it only works, if danger's here
It is absurd, the things you hear, their tiny quirks, from year to year
As death proved weak, and could not hold, this reckless lover, forever bold
It's light we seek, and not your mold, shadowless cover, wont be sold
It seems unfair, we needed time, we needed ware, to feel sublime
To give you care, a willing kind, soon we share, this smirking mime
You'll see sin, was but a sign, and to defy, was not to phi
So we've been, to walk a line, to touch the sky, and not to sigh
Hold on tight, it's almost here, to bring an ending, to all you hear
A brilliant light, to blind their leer, a reminder sending, don't you fear
We know you're thinking, how impractical, but how would you, define this fractal
We're always winking, at what's factual, imagining the few, as most impactful
The Walk of Our Lives
Oh what a tangled web we weave, mysteries as far as our eyes can see
We wonder upon these raging seas, for truth, it seems, we can't conceive
We've been through the wringer, twisted and dried
Reflecting on paths, when with the end we collide
And then a beginning, a new path to decide
The person we'll be, in this walk of our lives
Every day is a journey, a clever pursuit
Choices to make, and we must be astute
For there are so many, insights we could seed
If we'd only imagine, and convention not heed
Who would we be, and would we behold
If even the sky, was a limit of old
We can only imagine, what we've never perceived
But in doing the usual, we feel so relieved
And what if our time, was not traded for gold
The person we are, never fit any mold
Life sprang anew, every day was a test
To see if the old, was really the best
We bounced through our lives, like kids at the zoo
We stopped for our friends, as they're flowers too
Ever gazing at wonders, we're bouncing on through
Never worrying of sunders, torn by the few
For we know that the goal, is to grow ever more
Not to look for revenge, or to settle a score
Learn from the past, but forget all the pain
See it a lesson, just a way that we gain
Perspective on things, we once saw the same
Learning from stings, just a reason we came
For we had forgotten, a truth that we hide
A beautiful person, we hold deep inside
And if all of our days, even if numbered
Never left us a feeling, of being encumbered
Perhaps we would find, life is more like a show
The pieces just lost, not quite fitting the flow
For growing takes time, and pain it would seem
But that is okay, as we're all on a team
If all of these strands, could form but one tether
All of our problems, would be light as a feather
For what if division, between you and I
Was not a true factor, but a thing to deny
What would we do, for the ones that we love
Be just like Humpty, falling far from above
Leaving a raining, a ringing sound. A beautiful fracture, for the beasts to confound
Thinking they're reigning, their power compound. Soon they find, our hope will abound.
"We Love to Live in Prisms"
It seems, at times, I've spent a thousand years
Ever staring, wondering, upon the spinning gears
We've bounced, and waved, seeking our desires
Pointing, accusing, and calling others liars
But what if, after all, the truth was still unknown
And simply being pious, never could atone
The many things we've said, and all the things we've done
Were not the cause of death, but guidance from someone
This masquerade, a fine line, between love and hate
This world, but a dream, yet not designed by fate
You'll see he ever loved you, this graceful hidden dove
He didn't come to judge you, just to show you what's above
You found him so confounding, and impossibly aloof
A danger to all life, this ever constant sleuth
You've known him as a fire, an ever burning ring
You've known him as desire, and even as a king
But what do fathers do, when teaching all their young
Even when their varied, in their deeds and their tongue
You give them not an idol, but the way that they should live
You ask them never idle, and hope they will forgive
For life is not so easy, in truth it's rather hard
These many ups and downs, can leave one very scarred
You think yourself abandoned, ever falling in the night
But forgot to imagine, there was more to life than sight
He asks you to remember, to know who you are
For he is very clever, this one who came so far
Always love each other, and never live in fear
Forget all the pain, and hateful words you hear
For you are not alone, you are held very dear
You are not a piece, not a simple gear
There is no single box, which holds you deep inside
For you are many things, and grow from every side
Never be downtrodden, a believer of the lies
But know you are more, reaching higher than the skies
What things would you do, if you would never fail
Who would you be, as the author of your tale
The haughty would define you, as simply discontent
But this is just a lie, to keep you in descent
What if we were prisms, shining mirrors of the light
All ones simply spreading, our truth to the night
What if we could end, this ever constant fight
Smiling like penguins, deciding to take flight
If this was not a place, to define our black and white
But to imagine our journey, from low to highest height
That instead of pointing fingers, we used our gift of sight
To gaze into a mirror, and find the source of plight.
They've always said a bell, can never be unrung
But these are just the ignorant, who've never truly sung
For in waves of equals, and opposites, nothing can be found
All those hollow instruments, never make a sound
And the truth that you will find, will be the most profound.
The following is a letter I wrote to my brother for his High School graduation:
"Young Enough to Relate, Old Enough to Educate"
Dear Brother,
I write to you tonight, a night not so very different from any night. The same programs are on T.V., most of the world is embarking on the very same journeys they make every day, every week, every year. And yet, I cannot help but feel, this night is different for you and I. This will be one of change, a night of new beginnings.
You are soon to begin your life anew, and soon, so too will my life be renewed. We both stand upon a threshold of sorts, that place just before the spot we have set our sights on. It's funny at times, to consider how many have remarked upon the difference in our ages. This always seemed an oddity to me, to place so much value on a single number which holds no bearing on the person it represents. Surly many have realized to this point, just because you're a certain age, does not mean you're a certain person. However, generally I smile, and tell them that I have found it a blessing. With such a gap, I'm young enough to relate to my brother, to remember, and understand what he's going through in his various transitions. This is a wonderful thing, yet, so too am I old enough to have seen a larger portion of the road upon which we trod.
In truth, this is one of the main problems with the world today, no body can relate to one another anymore. Empathy, has become a foreign word, a lofty dream; replaced most often by the supposed need for instant gratification, and greed. However, you and I brother, we have learned, and therefore walk, a different path. We, in our natural state, hold things in a very different view than the world at large.
We value things that others find worthless, and find worthless what others may claim priceless. Soon you will see, throughout all the places you will go, that our family is a rarity; an utter oddity in a world of similitude. I imagine at first, you will think it restrictive, that you have been repressed through your life at home. You will see others, men and woman whose parents never imposed any restrictions upon them, who seem confident; who seem free. This is a most dangerous guise. One which has fooled even the cleverest of men.
Understand my brother, I speak not from a soap box, nor am I your parent, nor would I ever be so foolish as to call myself an authority figure in this place. I simply wish for you to hear the words of a man who has survived a great deal of hardship on his walk. I want you to know what I would tell the young me, which as many have told you to this point, was and is, not so very different from the man you find staring back at you from the mirror. Could I go back this night, were I able to gather you and the young me to a single spot, I would say many things. There is so much I would tell you both, and yet there simply are not words for some of the things you will experience.
First, I would say: “I'm extremely proud of you.” Odd words to spill from my mouth these days, knowing my feelings toward pride. But you have fought, you have struggled, and in many ways you have thrived through adversity which was more than enough to break many men. Many in the world today no longer possess the will to fight off even the most basic of trials. You've seen many fall around you; many who stumble and never get back up.
You see, in some ways, life is very much like a game. A game of trials, rather than thrones, though we'll get to that. No longer do we live life in the moment. We are ever thinking of the future and the past, which often only leads to missing what is directly in front of your face. This is folly brother, you are living now, this second, as you reach each of these words, you are alive. The future is ever uncertain, and the past ever irrelevant. The past can be a great adviser, though you should never consider it a perfect guide. We constantly make that mistake across the world. There is a reason it is said that we should be like little children, for unlike adults, they never walk through their experiences thinking they know exactly what will happen in every case.
Do not fall into the trap which has destroyed businesses, theories, and indeed lives. Just because something has always been done a certain way, in no way should you consider this the only way, or even the best way. As I have found across countless situations, often there is a better way to do a thing, if we are but willing to look at the issue in a different way. As we've already discussed, you and I are very different from most, so often times these answers come quickly and easily; naturally, if you will. Do not let such things feed your pride. We help others because that is what we are here to do. No man is greater than another by default. We were all seeds of equal potential, and have chosen which parts of ourselves we will grow, and which we will let die. It was well said that heaven is like a mustard seed. I too would call it a stem cell, a fractal, an irrational and infinite number. Something which can start so small, and yet expand eternal, because it never stopped growing.
You cannot hold a mighty oak in the palm of your hand, and yet you can hold an acorn, which holds an oak, which holds seemingly innumerable acorns. It simply needs time to grow. And through it's growth, as I hope to do today, it too may shed acorns of truth which may grow into so much more, if they are but given a chance. Never stop growing brother. The world has set up basic, mostly irrelevant, guidelines for where one should be at any given time in their life. One needs a certain job, a certain spouse, a certain car; always will they say you need things outside of yourself to find contentment. Do not live under the guidelines of men.
Look to what you truly want from life. Listen to your heart, and tread the path which best resonates with it. In this game of trials, there are many who seek the throne. They care only for the power they may have over others. It is said that leaders are either born through fear or love. Though I know you care not for the positions of leadership, and to this I am very glad, know that at times you will be in a place of leadership. Even when your title does not reflect it, people will look to you for answers when they can find none for themselves.
In these cases, where leadership is thrust upon you, do not have fear in your heart. Think not of what may go wrong through your words or deeds, but what you may do to help a friend in need. All parents, teachers, leaders, and peoples in power need to realize the burden that they carry. A place of power was not created for the exploitation of those subject to it, but was made so that those who have more could be available to, and distribute their offerings to those with less. A true leader need never have acted from a place of fear, for if you work for those under your guide, they will gladly work for you, realizing you both are working toward the goals, and good of all.
As I have said in the past, fight the problem in front of you, no the ones which have not even arrived. It's amazing how much of our time and energy is spent, thinking about solutions to problems we will never actually have. How many times have you worried and worried about the outcome of certain events, only to find that they worked out perfectly? All that effort and concern was for nothing, truly a waste, when you could have been more aware of what you were doing presently. How often do we miss great wonders and signs, simply because we're too busy thinking about things which will never come to pass. Treat life as you would SEAL training; one exercise at a time. It's when you start thinking about every exercise you'll ever have to do, that your mind will utterly defeat you. This is the cause of failure in many men. They thought the pain would never stop growing, that they are not good enough, that they cannot take it; and so they quit. They ring that bell, and just start being like everybody else again. Misery loves company.
These are men who have not known the secret you and I have stumbled upon. Your mind will give you a thousand reasons to quit every day for the rest of your life. People around you, even the ones you love the most, will give you reason after reason that you should stop; just be like everyone else. And yet, the secret brother, is you only need one reason to keep going. Find it. Find the one thing which will keep you in the fight, the one thing which will keep you alive. For this world will, without question, try you in ways you cannot even imagine. There are some who know this place as the valley of tears, others, the valley of the shadow of death. The hard truth is, that for certain people who find themselves upon the sands of the Earth, this is an enduring and perfect description.
We were raised differently my brother, and again, even if we were not, we're different naturally all the same. Your time in JROTC was a wonderful example of the world, if you will indulge a small analogy. When first you are thrust into the world, you are much like a freshman cadet, thrown into boot camp with absolutely no military background. You arrive all smiles and confidence. I mean, let's face it, as far as you're concerned you've already seen a bunch of things. You've already known a lot of pain, and trails. But for the most part, looking back on it, you've realized it wasn't so bad, and that you had what it takes to make it through anything with relative ease. This will be quickly shattered.
Along will come individuals who will make your life hell. They will require a great deal of you, and even when you do all they ask in a seemingly perfect fashion, it still won't be good enough. These are the Drill Instructors of life. Know that they come in many forms. Indeed everyone, and anyone, may be this in your life at some point or another. These are there to help you grow. Understand, each day is a lesson, a gift they say; thus why it is known as the present.
These life DI's are sent to teach, often times, without much in the way of cognizance from their own minds. See bosses, family, friends, co workers, teachers, and anyone who may place themselves in an authoritative roll in your life may exhibit this. Even lovers, at times, can be our greatest teachers, even in strife. Which leads to another great ideal taught well in the military; forget about your feelers. The ones you love the most will utterly rip your heart out at times. This is not necessarily because of what they say, but because of who they are. We add validity to the words of those we love, we identify more readily with their estimations.
I've been called every name you can consider by a myriad of men, and met them with a smile all the same. And yet, I've thought I was going to die, just by watching one I loved, walk away without saying a word. Your feelers will be crushed, get over it, literally. As you get older, much as you got farther in JROTC, you will find there are less and less people who really care what you're doing at any given time. There are less and less people who will check in, less who will wonder how you're doing. However, there will always be some, these are the ones you should hold in your life to the best of your ability.
The world is far less rainbows and butterflies than we were led to believe as children. It is an extremely deceitful place, and at times can seem overwhelmingly dark. There will come times throughout your journey in which you will feel there is no hope to be had. Thus is the life of the giver, in a world of takers. Everywhere you go, you will seed hope into the fields of others, giving them reasons to keep going. This is a wonderful task, and yet, at times it will leave no hope for you. I know this my brother, I have lived this.
There have been days in which I could not conceive of a single reason to keep going. Moments in which I would have gladly died and left this world after the events I had just endured. In these moments, when I could think of nothing else, I simply told myself this: “I don't give up. I never, ever, give up.” This is something you must instil within your heart, as this is part of the game. If you are truly good to others, if you truly spread hope, and promote freedom; things will come to stop you. Remember brother, we war not with flesh and blood, and yet we are at war. This is not a war of flags, nor colors, or even one of financial equality. This is a war of freedom and subjugation. Through our varied experiences, we have learned well that we are not subject to pain. Pain will tell you that you can't do one more pushup, nor run one more step; and yet you have laughed at pain with marathons finished, and trophies had. But know there are many forms of pain brother. You know your strength over physical pain, but so too must you become strong against all forms of pain. Anything which would seek to throw down your will, and make you subject to it. This is your task for the rest of your life my brother. Never, ever, give up. Times will come which will stretch the very fiber of your being. But never forget, pain is just weakness leaving the body.
It is been said that a man is truly defined by how he reacts under pressure. This seems a fitting expression, as in a way, these situations let you see what is inside the man. Squeeze and orange and you will get a delicious juice, squeeze and egg and you'll get a mess. Pressure simply shows you what is inside you. Do not fear it, thrive under it, and people will respect you no matter how they feel about you otherwise. When the path is most dark, when no light can be found around you, look within yourself. You will find again and again, the light was always there in the first place. That your strength and truth was not found out in the world, but within your heart. Listen to what it will tell you, always be as a sentry in a time of war, seeking the truth within your heart.
Men have read countless volumes, theorized for decades, held positions of authority, and still never known a fraction of the truth. You are not these men. You know in your heart, you have felt the truth, and you are not like the vast majority of individuals who inhabit this planet. This is no shocking thing. Our family is different, we look, act, and think differently. We are not of this place in truth, and yet there is a great deal we may do while we are here. Do not compare yourself to others, this is an exercise in futility. This comparison has been the origin of failure for many men. Always strive to be better than yourself, every day. Men believe that they can only be so good at a thing, and so they are. They think that, so long as they're better than their peers, that's good enough. This is a fools trap. You may become virtually perfect at any task, some simply take more practice than others, and all take continuous attention.
Let no person, ideal, event, nor outward thing define who you are. You are not your job, your clothes, your friends, your bank account, your car, or anything but what you define yourself as. You choose who you will be, nothing and no one else has that power, unless you hand it to them. People will be more than happy to express what they think of you throughout time. This can be a wonderful thing, even if their words are less than eloquent. For remember, it is you who is defining you, these others simply bring you additional data and feed back. Do not take what they said as definitive proof, but simply as their subjective view of you in their subjective world. And as I've said before, most people in the world are horribly lacking in empathy. They will term you many things having absolutely no idea why you do what you do. Having no mind of what you have seen, done, or what you have survived. Mostly they look through glasses which boldly state: “I'm pretty good, and I do the best I can, but everyone else has so many flaws.” The irony in this being, most people in life act as mirrors.
The things which most bother you about others, often times are in fact, the things which most bother you about yourself. In wars of deception, nothing is as it seems, and yet everything else wears a guise. They say we are but shadows and dust. This is true in some ways, but only while we believe ourselves trapped here. What is most important, is that you realize that there is an aspect of you, a truer version if you will, who would not walk in error. The world would have you believe that wisdom and truth are found without. I would have you search your heart, in looking for such things. One day you will truly see, your fight was never against another man. It was a fight against control. This is the malicious game of dichotomy, or perhaps better said; the game of the dialectic. That is to say, a game where there are many options, and yet you are only presented with a few, so they may have you believe this is all there is.
Know the truth of your heart, know that this game of thrones, of worship, and of sides, is not why you are here. We stand for freedom, you and I brother. The freedom of the will of men. There are constraints to such a thing. Very dark men would have you believe; “Do as thou wilt” would be the whole of the law. But they have forgotten the end of that statement. Do as thou wilt, so long as it does not interfere with the free will of another, and you are willing to accept any and all consequences for your actions. There is much you may do brother, many you may help, many you may free, so long as you can accept the consequences for what you do. Be as a great General in war brother. Accept personal casualties of pain for the reward of greater good for many. Again you have already done this in JROTC. How many times have you jumped back up after a PFT run to help those who were still running their part of the journey. This was of no benefit to you, but of massive benefit to those who had not yet completed the race.
I ask you to see, in this small thing, that you do this constantly in your life. That again and again, people such as you and I, come back to help people finish their journey. Do not spend all your time looking for the benefits you will receive for doing this and that, but act from a position of love for others. Understand, in many ways, you are not here for you. You are here because the world needs you. Many men look about themselves and say there is no good left in the world, therefore they do not have to be good either. This would be the death of hope, if not for men like you. Men who know that there is good, there is truth, there is light. Men who know that the night is always darkest, just before the dawn. As you enter the world on your journey brother, I ask that you be prepared. Be prepared to get knocked down, to be in pain, to not have enough. Be prepared to see great wickedness rewarded, and great goodness tossed aside as garbage. Know that this is not an existence of injustice, nor imbalance. Many things will seem out of place, because many things are presently out of place. However, this does not mean it will always be so. This is why we are here. Find yourself brother, the truth of you. Men think this is one of the most simple of things, they will proudly proclaim they know who they are, and yet that is why they are still here. This is why they still play the game; why they are still running the race. Spend your life growing, spend it helping others. Not for your benefit, as you did not come here for benefits to yourself, just as you did not seek to help the PFT runners for any benefit to yourself.
You are a giver. One who lives in service to others. The tyrants of this world think that if you serve another you are weak. What they have not realized, is that you are in fact the strong one. As you can serve yourself, and others simultaneously. You take care of them, far more than they care for you. They will always be dependent on your aid, and you will find that you need less and less to do anything. Break into this world with confidence and wisdom brother. Know that stumbling blocks will be thrown about you like confetti. That at some point, every man is lost, and yet, no man must remain so. It is never too late, until it is. Stay true to yourself brother. Like Pinocchio, let your consciousness be your guide, and one day you will be a real boy. Never give up, never forget who you are, and why you are here. You are here to free many, no matter what it takes. No matter what may stand in your way, you never, ever, give up.
"Sometimes, you don't say it. Sometimes you have to let them think it's you, let them feel like you're the one who doesn't see. Not because you don't want to tell them; you'd love to scream it from the roofs, if it wouldn't make you seem utterly insane. But even then, it's because you want them to be happy. You want them to hope, to love, to enjoy waking up each day firm in their understanding. You don't want them to have your life; you don't want them to know the burden you carry. They say the truth will set you free, but what if the truth was an irony in and of itself. What if the truth was, that you are a slave..."
-Will "The Awakening"
"Every man has his shadows. Yet so too, may every man, burn brightly from fires within his heart; destroying even the slightest hint of darkness. Man need never have feared, fighting within the shade."
-Will "The Awakening"
"Just Amusing"
The seed a key, the key a seed.
To be but one, that's what you need.
Love thy self, and not thy ego.
Know thy self, and be not evil.
For you are not a wicked thing,
but beauty broken; suffering.
One day again, the truth you'll find.
It is not you, but just your mind.
It's been broken, torn asunder.
You do not see, the spell you're under.
For wars deceive, and life's not fair.
All these lies, will break your care.
Who you are, you forgot to question.
All it took, a mere suggestion.
Chase this dream, let's make believe.
Truth is hard, we need reprieve.
A shining light, a hopeful fire
asks for you, to aim desire.
Trust not your eyes, for they are liars
A dangerous cycle, which never tires.
Take your time, strive ever higher.
Make him right, and not a liar.
For he knows you, would have no end.
If but your will, could never bend.
So to you, will now he tend.
A helping hand, now will he send.
When darkness comes, to call you friend
this is how, you should defend.
Know patience, smile; forget all hate
As it is only love, that changes fate.
Nothing is the way it seems,
living in this land of dreams.
How confusing it must be,
chasing only what you see.
How much more it is for light,
which still reflects; day and night.
Siren songs of "The Awakening"
"I chase a new idea, the most infectious of things. A dangerous game; you only get so many swings. For one rarely knows if it is truth, a shade, or a lie he will hear. So press ever diligently, trying to forget every fear. For I know I was born invulnerable, my only weakness learned here. The question I ask, is it love or light; who has the power to steer?"
-Will "The Awakening"
"You know how people say; "I'm a lover, not a fighter." Those are simply fools. Love fights every day, just to keep what it has already made. This is why love has always been the very most powerful of things. It was fighting before you were ever born, and it will still be so, long after your heart finally rests. You would never fight for a thing in which you had no love, nor would you ever truly love a thing, you've never fought for. One is never a lover or a fighter, but both. Knowing this, you should fight for love, as love has always been fighting for you."
Will "The Awakening"
